Lights will guide you home
by 1029
Summary: When Reid relapses he needs a reminder that he is not alone in the dark of his depression. AU JJ/Hotch but not the focus of the story. Other ships implied. WARNING: contains mentions of self harm and drug abuse
1. Chapter 1

**this is the first angsty story I've done. It will probably end up being under ten chapters. WARNING there are mentions of self harm and drug abuse. Please review and let me know what you think**

**i don't own criminal minds**

* * *

Reid's hands shook as he stood over the small sink in his cramped bathroom. He stared down at his bloodied knuckles in shock and let his eyes wonder up to the now cracked mirror. What the hell was happening to him? A loud knocking at his front door interrupted his thoughts. Reid quickly rinsed the blood off his hands before he went to open the door.

"Hotch?" He said when he saw the Unit Chief standing at his door. "Is something wrong?"

Hotch gave the younger agent a worried look. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

"What do you mean?" Reid asked.

Hotch frowned, "You called me less than two minutes ago. You weren't making any sense."

Reid shook his head, "it must have been a mistake." He could tell Hotch wasn't buying his lame excuse.

"Can I use your bathroom?" Hotch asked.

"Um no," Reid answered. He didn't want Hotch to see the mirror and the blood. He was also pretty sure he had left a couple of empty syringes in the bathroom trash. "It doesn't work."

"It doesn't work?" Hotch repeated.

"Yep," Reid nodded. He figured if he acted confident enough then Hotch would have no choice but to believe him.

"Reid-"

"Actually Hotch I was just about to take a nap. I'm really tired and the last case wore me out," Reid rambled out excuses.

"Okay," Hotch frowned again. "While I'm here, JJ wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight."

"I don't know," Reid answered. "Maybe another time."

"Reid she's worried about you," Hotch persuaded. "And I'm sure the boys would love to see you again."

"What time is dinner?" Reid asked. Even if he argued his way out of dinner he would feel guilty about it later.

"Six," Hotch answered before leaving with a hesitant nod. As he was walking down the stairs of Reid's building he dialed his wife's phone number.

JJ answered after one ring. "So how'd it go?" She asked.

"He denied even calling me," Hotch answered. "He wouldn't let me in either."

"Aaron I'm worried," JJ said.

"I know I am too," he replied. "But I convinced him to come for dinner."

"Do you think he'll talk to us then?" JJ asked, the worry etched in her voice.

"I think it's worth a try," her husband said. "Maybe this time you should try talking to him."

"Okay I'll try," JJ responded.

"I'll be home in a few minutes," Hotch said. "We can talk more when I get there."

Back inside his apartment Reid had once again locked himself inside his bathroom. He was hunched over the toilet as another wave if nausea hit him. He reached for another syringe but was dismayed to not see one.

Reid stormed out of the bathroom into his bedroom. He pulled his nightstand drawer out and began frantically searching. When he couldn't find what he was looking for Reid threw the drawer and it's contents at the wall. He had just bought a new stash how could he already be out? The pain was building inside him he had to find a release.

Back in the bathroom Reid pulled his razor out. It wasn't his choice was to relive the pain, but it was better than nothing.

* * *

Reid pulled into the Hotchner's driveway at 5:58. He opened his bag to double check that he still had his stash of Dilauded that he had just picked up. Satisfied, Reid stuffed the bag under his seat on the off chance Hotch searched him on his way in the door.

JJ had watched him pull into the driveway, so she already had the front door opened by the time Reid made it up the crosswalk. "Hey Spence," she said as she pulled him into a tight hug which Reid hesitantly returned. "I've missed you," she said.

"JJ you saw me yesterday at work," Reid said.

"Yeah I saw you," she replied. "But you never hang out with us anymore."

"I've just been busy," Reid shrugged as he followed her in the house.

"Uncle Spence!" Reid was greeted by a noticeably taller Henry as he came barreling down the stairs. "I was so excited when mommy said you were coming for dinner. Do you have any new magic?"

"Sorry Henry," Reid said. "No new magic, but I might have a couple old tricks you haven't seen in a while."

"Henry why don't you go wash up and call Jack for dinner?" JJ asked. "Spence you can come in the kitchen if you like," she said when he saw he was still awkwardly standing in the doorway.

"Right," Reid nodded. "He's gotten so big."

"I know it's crazy," JJ replied. "But you should see Jack he's almost as tall as me." She moved around the kitchen so full of energy it was almost fascinating to Reid.

Reid's eyes widened, "I guess it has been a while."

"Why is that Spence?" JJ asked. She was now standing in front of him with her hand resting on her hip.

"I guess we're all just at different places in out lives," Reid answered.

"That's not true," JJ said quietly. "I feel like your avoiding us. Not just us but the whole team."

"I'm not," Reid snapped. "I'm here aren't I?"

Hotch cleared his throat from the doorway causing Reid to jump, something that did not go unnoticed by the other profilers. "Jayje do you need any help in here?"

"No," JJ answered. "Just make sure the boys are at the table and not off playing video games. Once they're here we can eat."

Dinner was an awkward affair for all involved, the only one who didn't seem to notice the underlying tension was Henry who seemingly incessantly babbled about his day. Normally Reid never minded his godson's chatter, but tonight it was starting to unnerve him. Another thing, that did not go unnoticed by Hotch. He and JJ seemed to be having conversations with their eyes, and Reid knew they were about him. "Uh can I uh use your bathroom?" Reid stammered out. He knew they were close to discovering his secret. Both Hotch and JJ were the only ones who knew he was using the first time.

"Yes," Hotch answered, locking his eyes before again silently communicating with JJ.

Reid stumbled down the hallway into the small bathroom. Reid glanced at himself in the mirror and silently prayed he didn't look like that when he first arrived. He looked like hell. His hair looked like it needed a good brush and wash, his skin was pale, and his eyes were slightly bloodshot. Reid's hands were shaking slightly, so he splashed some cold water on his face in an effort to calm himself.

A few minutes later, Reid exited the bathroom to find only Hotch ad JJ sitting at the table. "Where did Jack and Henry go?"

"They were done eating," JJ answered curtly.

"Oh," Reid said. He knew that they were going to ask what was going on, and in his head Reid began listing possible excuses for his behavior.

"Spence what's really going on?" JJ asked.

"I don't know what you mean," Reid answered.

"It's just you don't really seem yourself," she elaborated.

"I feel fine," Reid insisted.

JJ sighed, "with everything that's happened we-"

"You know Jennifer you don't know everything! I've said I'm fine," Reid snapped.

With that Hotch sprung from his chair, gruffly grabbed Reid's right arm, but not enough to hurt him, and pulled up his sleeve. JJ covered her mouth with her hand at the sight in front of them. His arm was covered in several obvious self inflicted cuts and bruises, not to mention the track marks from where he had injected himself with the Dilauded.

"It's not what you think," Reid muttered. His eyes were down, he couldn't bare to meet Hotch's gaze where the original anger and turned to worry.

"Reid let us help you," Hotch croaked. "Please."


	2. Chapter 2

**thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. I tried to carefully read over this chapter a few times, but I still feel like there are a few mistakes so I apologize for those. I'm pretty excited about this chapter and what I have planed for the next. I also couldn't resist throwing a little jotch scene in here. Anyway I hope you all enjoy!**

**disclaimed!**

* * *

JJ's hands gripped the steering wheel as she shot another desperate glance in her companion's direction. The entire twenty minute car ride had been in complete silence.

"You didn't have to drive me," Reid said when he saw her look over to him for the umpteenth time.

"Would you have gone?" JJ asked.

"I don't really have a choice do I?" Reid answered her question with a question. He was referring to Hotch's orders to attend a support group for drug abusers in addition to his orders to get clean and take a temporary leave. Failure to do said things would result in him being reported to the brass.

"You can't keep living this way," JJ stated dryly.

"That's why I'm doing this."

"So you want to get better?" JJ asked. Reid only answered with a simple shrug. JJ pulled into the small parking lot. "It's really hard to see you like this Spence," she sighed.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't watch," Reid said before he flew out of the car, slamming the door shut.

JJ ignored his comment as she pulled out her book. She figured it would be better to just stay an wait the hour out rather than driving there and back.

* * *

A knock on his office door interrupted Hotch's steady flow as he filled out his paperwork. "Come in," Hotch stated.

"Hey," Rossi entered.

"Hey Dave," Hotch replied, he already knew what Rossi was going to ask.

"Not to pry but where is JJ today?" Rossi asked.

"She's helping Reid with something," Hotch answered.

"So are you going to tell us why he suddenly decided to take a temporary leave?" Rossi asked as he sat across from the Unit Chief's desk. "It's not exactly a secret that something's wrong."

Hotch sighed, "This isn't the place for this conversation. I don't want to betray Reid's trust so whatever I tell you has to remain between us."

Rossi's eyes widened slightly, "that bad huh?" Hotch's only answer was a solemn nod. "Then how about you, JJ, and the boys come over for dinner tonight? It's been a while since I've seen Jack and Henry."

"Well Henry's at Will's tonight, but I think JJ and Jack would like that. It's my turn to cook tonight and for some reason I'm always faced with complaints," Hotch answered.

"Well in that case I'll have to make JJ's favorite chicken dish," Rossi said before leaving Hotch's office.

* * *

After JJ dropped Reid back off at his apartment building he pretended to go into the building before heading around the back alley where he anxiously waited for his dealer. He bought half a new stash before he ran out of cash. Excitement taking over, Reid didn't wait until he got to his apartment to satisfy his craving.

Reid tore the notice off his door that he could be facing eviction before stumbling into his apartment. He threw his bag on his couch and it broke open to reveal it's haunting contents.

Instead of storming off to his room like he had originally planned, something possessed Reid to examine the items. He picked up Maeve's copy of the Narrative of John Smith, briefly looking it over before putting it back in his bag. His unread copy of Mystifying Galaxies and a few stray pens.

Reid stopped once he got to his Mother's letter. He had read over it so many times that the paper was worn and the ink was beginning to fade, despite the fact that it was less than three months old. He had read it dozens of times and could recite each word from memory. Reid couldn't bear to bring himself to read it again, instead folding it neatly along it's creases before carefully placing it back in his bag.

He felt weak to cry. Reid had spent so much of his past time crying lately that he was getting sick of it. Everyone who had ever cared about him was gone. Suddenly tiredness overcame him, and Reid slumped over into a deep sleep.

He awoke a full fourteen hours later covered in sweat and struggling to breath. He attempted to stand but was overcome with dizziness. Reid's fingernails were turning blue and his pulse was weak. Panic started to set in once he realized what was happening. Quickly, Reid dialed 911.

"911 what is your emergency?" The dispatcher spoke into the phone.

"I need an ambulance," Reid's voice was hoarse as he gave his address. "I think I may be experiencing an overdose."

It felt like Reid waited hours for the ambulance to arrive, each minute it was harder for him to keep his eyes open. The last thing he saw before blacking out was the EMTs entering his apartment.

* * *

"The boys are in bed," Hotch happily announced as he plopped down next to his wife, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" JJ chuckled as she snuggled closer to him.

"Mmm I don't know," he mumbled before kissing her again, longer this time, before JJ's phone went off. "Let it ring," he growled.

"I can't," JJ sighed. "It might be Reid. I told him to call if he needed anything."

"Is it him?" Hotch asked, when he saw her frowning at her phone.

"No I don't recognize the number," she replied. "Hello?" JJ listened intently to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Hotch watched her expression change to worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked after JJ hung up the phone.

"Spence had an OD. He's in the hospital. Aaron we have to get there now."

* * *

It wasn't long before a doctor entered the waiting room looking for Reid's family. Immediately everyone stood up. JJ looked to her side at Hotch's neutral expression, that she could tell he wore to mask his worry. While both Rossi and Blake looked like the were clinging to every word the doctor said. They had decided earlier to involve as few people as possible in what was happening, for fear of invading Reid's privacy.

"We do have him hooked up to and IV and breathing tube," he continued. "But that's just standard procedure for an overdose like this. All in all Spencer is lucky this wasn't more severe, and he should be awake in a few hours."

"Thank you," Hotch nodded as the doctor walked off.

"I think it's time we let everyone else know what's going on," JJ spoke.

"I agree," Hotch said. "I'll call Morgan and Garcia."

"I thought he was getting better," Blake said.

"That's what he wanted us to believe," Hotch's voice was a mixture of frustration and concern.

"Aaron-" JJ attempted to calm him before he started snapping at people.

"I don't have time for this I have to call Morgan," Hotch snapped before storming off into a hallway. Too late.

"He's just frustrated right now," Rossi said. "Just give it an hour."

"I know Dave," JJ offered Rossi a small smile. "Why don't we go get some of Reid's things for him when he wakes up? I have a key."

"That sounds like a good idea," Rossi nodded. "Are you commit Alex?"

Blake shook her head, "No I think I'll wait here until he wakes up."

JJ gave Blake's shoulder a supportive squeeze as she moved past and left with Rossi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry that it's been a couple weeks since I've updated. I hopefully made up for it with this longer chapter. I really like this chapter, so please review and let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimed!**

* * *

It took Reid a few moments to remember where he was once he woke up. He tried to lift his head, but it felt heavy, and it was shooting with pain. Instead, Reid turned his head to the side to see Hotch and Blake, out in the hall, engaged in a deep conversation. Hotch held a phone between them, Reid assumed someone was on the other line. Blake saw Reid first and gently touched Hotch's arm to gain his attention. When he looked over to Reid, he only wore a frown of worry.

"You're up," Blake observed as they entered the room. Reid nodded numbly. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Fine I guess," Reid answered.

"That's good," she said. "We were all worried." Reid gave a small smile. He looked in Hotch's direction to see the unit chief staring him down.

Reid shifted in his bed. "How long was I out?" He asked.

"Six hours," Hotch answered curtly.

"Oh," Reid mumbled. He suddenly felt guilty for the worry he had put his co-workers through.

"Morgan and Garcia went to get coffee they should be back soon," Blake tried to keep the conversation light-hearted.

"JJ and Dave went to your place to pick up a few of your things, only to find that you had been evicted," Hotch started.

"They should have done that!" Reid yelled. "It's an invasion of my privacy."

"You gave JJ a key. She was only trying to help," Hotch retorted. "Why didn't you tell us things were so bad?"

"What so you could send me to a support group to talk about it?" Reid questioned. "It's not your problem."

"But you acknowledge it's a problem?" Hotch asked.

Reid shook his head, "Why do you care? You're not my dad, you're not my family. It's not a problem for you."

A look of hurt momentarily flashed through Hotch's eyes. "Reid we all-"

"Your just looking out for the interest of the team and what would happen if I wasn't there to annoy everyone with my knowledge," Reid sneered.

"You're right why should I bother," Hotch said before storming out, slamming the door behind him. Blake quickly followed.

* * *

No one came back to visit Reid for another three hours. He saw both Morgan and Garcia walk by his room, but only Garcia looked painfully in his direction. Reid felt a pang of regret in his chest for what he had said to his boss. He only wished Hotch, or anyone else, would stop by so he could voice this thought.

Reid's wishes were granted when he saw JJ making her way towards his room carrying his go-bag.

"The doctors said you can leave tomorrow night," JJ said, putting the bag down on a chair.

"JJ," Reid said when he saw she didn't immeadiatly leave the room. "Is Hotch still here?"

"No," JJ answered. "Everyone else went back to work."

"You didn't?"

"I figured I would give you your things and then maybe pick Henry and Jack up at school," she answered.

"Oh," Reid said. "...I'm sorry."

"For what?" JJ asked.

"You know," he stated.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," she said.

"I know."

"Reid?" JJ asked apprehensively. "Can I just ask what made you start up again?"

After a moment of thought Reid answered. "You wouldn't understand."

"Help me understand," she took his hand in hers and gave a small squeeze.

Reid took a shaky breath. "All my life I always had a problem fitting into what everyone perceived as normal. I felt like people didn't understand me..."

"Did it just become to much?" JJ asked.

He shook his head. "As crazy as it seems my mom always understood. I also found somebody, with Maeve, but I didn't even get to have her in my life...I just feel like I'm missing my person."

"A person?" JJ questioned softly.

"Someone who loves and understands me," Reid answered. "Someone who doesn't make me feel so alone. Everyone else has found their person-"

"Spence-"

"You have Hotch, and he has you, Garcia has Kevin, Rossi has Strauss, Blake has James. Emily and Morgan even have each other! Who do I have?" Reid asked.

"You have all of us," JJ answered. "We all have each other."

"No," Reid said. "No I don't."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," JJ said as she moved to leave. "Dave said he'll pick you up tomorrow when you get discharged."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Reid grumbled.

"We'll get there when we get there," was Rossi's only answer.

Reid frowned, he knew they weren't going to his apartment, and this wasn't the road one would usually take to get to Rossi's mansion. In fact..."Are we going to Hotch and JJ's?"

Rossi smirked, "It's nice to see you still have some of your smarts."

"Why are we going to Hotch and JJ's?"

"What did you think I was just going to pull over on the side of the road and with a 'good luck and god bless'?" Rossi asked lightly.

Reid tried to figure out what the older profiler meant as they pulled into the driveway. "Get your bags," Rossi ordered.

"What? Why?" Reid asked.

"I guess drugs really do mess with ones wit," the older mans observed with a shake of his head.

"Am I staying here?" Reid asked.

"There you go," Rossi congratulated as he pushed his way into the house. "Henry and Jack both have soccer games right now, so nobody's home."

"They know I'm here?" Reid asked. He followed Rossi through the foyer and living room.

"Of course! they suggested it," Rossi retorted, making his way up the stairs "I don't know if you know but the guest room is at the end of this hall," he pointed in the direction of four doors.

Two of the doors were decorated in block letters. One door spelled out Jack, while the other spelled out Henry. It felt slightly intrusive for Reid to be on their second floor. He had never even seen more than just the living room, kitchen and bathroom.

"Across the hall is the bathroom," Rossi continued. "I'm sure JJ will give you a full tour when they get back, and I'm sure Hotch will tell you the rules."

"Rules," Reid muttered, but Rossi gave no indication that he had heard him, instead he opened the last door to reveal a simple beige room with a queen bed, a dresser, a closet, and a small TV set up. The room was bland compared to the rest of the house. No paintings or pictures hung on the walls, but Reid could see someone had laid some more of his things out on the bed for him.

"Would you like me to stay and help you get settled?" Rossi asked. "JJ said they'd be home by three." It was currently two-thirty.

"No I'm good," Reid answered. "I guess I'll just unpack."

"Well if you need anything," Rossi said as he patted the younger man's back. "You have Hotch and JJ's numbers." With that he left and Reid heard the faint noise of the front door shutting.

Ten minutes later Reid was carefully setting clothes in his drawer when he heard the front door open again, this time he heard either Jack or Henry run into the house followed by Hotch's heavy steps and JJ's call. "Spence?"

"Uh yeah," Reid called back. He jogged out of the room only to nearly collide with JJ. "I didn't hear you come up the steps," he said, startled.

"Oh sorry I guess I'm pretty quiet," JJ said. "We're gonna get pizza wanna come?"

"Sure," Reid answered, it seemed like the only option since he didn't want to sit in their house alone.

"Alright Jack just has to get a shower and then we can go," JJ smiled, happy to see that Reid was interested in participating in family activities. It was then that the boy in question ran up the steps, and Reid could see he was covered in head to toe mud.

"Uncle Spence I scored three goals," he informed proudly.

"That's great!" Reid said.

"Jack don't touch the walls," Hotch ordered as he followed his son up the stairs.

"I have to get a shower now," Jack informed before he ran to his room.

Hoth sighed at his son's constant energy. "I thought soccer would tire him out. How do you like the room?" He asked Reid.

"It's great thank you so much," Reid said sincerely. Truth be told he was concerned he would be sleeping on a street corner.

"Of course," Hotch nodded.

"Sorry it's so bland we never use that room," JJ said.

"It's perfect," Reid assured.

"Sounds like Jack just got in the shower I better go change," JJ said, before turning down another hallway Reid assumed led to her room.

"Do you want to unpack or wait downstairs?" Hotch asked.

"We can just wait downstairs," Reid answered. He was grateful that it seemed like Hotch wasn't still mad about what Reid had previously said. "I'm sorry about what happened at the hospital," Reid apologized once they were sitting in the living room.

"I know," Hoth replied. "I forgive you."

"Where's Henry?" Reid asked, he didn't want to ask in front of JJ.

"He's with Will," Hotch answered, the distain was clear on his face.

"Oh right," Reid said, he didn't want to pursue the topic.

Not five minutes later Jack and JJ were ready to go, and the whole family piled into the car to get pizza.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is going to be the next to last chapter for those of you still reading. I know I didn't update this as quickly as I had hoped, but when I get super busy I sometimes forget how much I like writing. **

**Disclaimed!**

* * *

Late one night Hotch came into his and JJ's room after tucking Jack into bed. "Jack just told me he's too old to be tucked in by me," he said.

"I'm sorry," JJ comforted. "But he's almost twelve, I'm surprised he didn't say so earlier."

Hotch shook his head, "I know, maybe he'll change his mind?"

"Maybe," JJ responded skeptically.

"Did you see Reid at all tonight?" Hotch asked as he climbed next to his wife in bed.

"Yeah he was in his room reading when I last saw him," she answered.

"That's good he's reading again," Hotch commented.

"You know he's been clean for a week," JJ said.

"Wow," Hotch responded. "If he were in a program they would have given him a medal."

JJ gave her husband a look. "You can't force someone into those programs. They have to want to go themselves."

"I know," Hotch replied. He would have driven Reid straight to a rehab facility if Blake and JJ hadn't convinced him otherwise. "If he falls off the wagon again-"

"He's not going to," JJ said. "He just needed to be reminded what family was. I can see him getting better already."

Hotch sighed, "You're right."

"I know," JJ replied before kissing him.

* * *

Over the past week he spent with the Hotchners, Reid had developed a sort of routine. He now drove Jack to school every morning, he then spent his afternoons and evenings reading, walking around the neighborhood, or rewatching old episodes of doctor who. It was nice to feel like he felt a part of a little unit, outside of being the brains of the BAU. Of course he wanted to go back to work, but he and Hotch agreed he needed a break.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. "Spence?" JJ said.

"Come in," Reid answered.

"Hotch and I have a meeting this afternoon," she said. "Would you mind watching Jack? He'll probably just spend the day playing video games or something."

"Yeah that's no problem," Reid nodded.

"Thanks Spence," JJ smiled. She left the room before Reid could ask what their meeting could be for, he figured if she wanted to share JJ would have.

Hotch and JJ left a few hours later. Reid could hear Jack playing a video game in his room, and it wasn't until about half an hour that he decided to check on the young boy. Sure enough Jack sat in a beanbag chair across from the small TV, but looking a little glum.

"Hey Jack what's up?" Reid asked.

"Nothing," Jack answered. "I'm bored Uncle Reid."

"Oh," was all Reid said. "But you have your cool game."

"It's not fun playing by myself," Jack informed. Then an idea popped into his head. "Do you wanna play Uncle Reid?"

Reid shook his head, he personally was not a fan of video games. "No I'm fine."

Jack gave a sigh, and wore a look of defeat. "Please," he begged softly.

Reid gave the young boy credit, he knew how to get what he wanted. "Okay maybe just a little bit."

Jack's face instantly brightened. "Yay thanks uncle Reid!" He quickly dug through his game box anod pulled out another controller. "The game's pretty easy just follow me."

"You let me win," Jack pouted.

Reid was surprised to younger boy had caught on so quickly. "No I didn't," he lied. Truth be told he felt sorry that he was beating Jack at his own game. They had been playing for over an hour now and Jack had only won once.

"It's not nice to lie," Jack said. "I don't mind losing Uncle Reid. You're really good at everything."

"Thanks Jack," Reid smiled.

Jack pondered for a moment, "Uncle Reid why do you live with us now?" He asked.

Reid was started by the boy's question. "I was uh I am sick and your parents are helping me," he answered.

"Are you going to get better?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," Reid answered. "I think so."

"I hope you're not sick anymore," Jack said. "But I like that you're here."

"Well I'm gonna try," Reid said.

"Do you wanna play again?" Jack asked, referring to the game. "This time don't let me win."

Reid laughed, "I won't!"

* * *

That evening JJ sat on the couch flipping through TV channels when Reid came down the stairs. "Hey Spence!" She greeted, causing Hotch, who was sitting in a corner chair reading, to look up.

"Hey," Reid nodded. He sat on the other end of the couch, practically hugging the arm rest. "How did your meeting go?" He asked.

"As well as it could have gone," JJ answered. "I'll get to see Henry more when I'm home. Will's not thrilled, but he'll learn to deal with it.

"That's good," Reid replied. The only noise for the next few minutes came from the TV, or the turning of pages in Hotch's book. "I think I should go to a support group," Reid blurted.

JJ muted the TV. "You want to go?" She asked.

"I think it's best if I want to get better," Reid explained. "It's so tempting to just fall back into what I was. Studies have shown that talking to people who understand what it's like to cope with addiction is really beneficial."

"I'll take you tomorrow morning if you want," JJ offered.

"Thanks JJ," Reid said as he stood up to leave.

"Dinner's in about an hour," she informed before Reid headed back up the stairs. After he left JJ gave her husband a smug look. "See if you don't push him, he'll find his own reasons to get better."

Hotch put his book down before joining his wife on the couch. "I would just like to point out that this could have gone one of two ways, and I am very grateful it went this way," he said as he put his arms around her.

"Did you doubt me?" JJ jokingly accused.

"Never," Hotch answered.

* * *

"And how many of us are getting a thirty day chip?" Phil asked. Phil was the leader of the drug abusers support group that Reid now attended regularly. He was average build, mild aged, and balding. Nothing about him stood out, but Reid found that made it easier for him to open up, instead of looking at the group he would look at Phil.

Reid raised his hand indicating that he was receiving a thirty day chip. The rest of the small group applauded as Phil handed Reid his chip. "Congratulations," Phil said. "That's all the time we have for tonight, until next time."

Reid walked hurriedly through the parking lot, he stuffed his hands in his coat pockets as cold air burned his ears. Finally he saw the familiar black SUV.

"How was it?" Hotch asked as Reid climbed into the passenger side. Reid replied by showing the Unit Cheif his new thirty day chip. "Congratulations Reid, I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," Reid said. "For everything."

"Of course," Hotch said. "How do you feel?"

"Like I never want to go down that path again," Reid answered.

Hotch smiled, "This is cause for celebration! Rossi's cooking dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

**hi there! Sorry to anyone who was confused when I accidentally uploaded the wrong document as the last chapter of this story, but you all got to see a super rough draft of my newest story idea. Anyways here is the last chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and favorited. Ps this chapter does contain a time jump.**

**Disclamied!**

* * *

Reid knocked twice on Rossi's mansion door. The house created a warm glow that shone through the cold December night, and the sound of laughter inside created a feeling of home.

Rossi swung the door open, "Well look who finally decided to show up," he joked. Reid could tell he had already consumed a few drinks.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized.

"No need to be sorry," Rossi assured. "I was only teasing. We haven't even served dinner yet."

Reid nodded and followed Rossi into the house, to the living room where the rest of the team and their families were gathered, along with Prentiss who was visiting from England. Morgan, Prentiss, Garcia, and Kevin all seemed to be in some raging debate, while Alex, James, JJ and Hotch talked quietly in the corner.

Morgan was now furiously shaking his head, "Baby girl I'm telling you-Reid." He stopped when he saw the young genius in the doorway.

"Hey guys," Reid waved awkwardly as Rossi headed into the kitchen.

Prentiss nearly jogged across the living room before pulling Reid into a hug. "Ugh I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too," Reid returned her hug. "I don't think I've seen you since Fourth of July."

"It has been a long time," Prentiss said.

"Too long," Reid agreed. "What were you all arguing about?"

"Oh Morgan and Kevin don't believe in mediums," Prentiss explained.

"Care to give us some science facts?" Morgan asked as he joined the pair.

Reid chuckled, "I'd rather not get involved." For some reason this seemed to set off another round of debate between the group.

In the midst of the chaos Reid joined now only Hotch and JJ in the small corner of the room. "Hey Spence," JJ gave him a long hug.

"How was it?" Hotch asked. Reid answered by pulling out the coin and showing it to the couple. Hotch smiled and clapped him on the back. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," Reid replied, smiling to himself.

"Now it's time for me to hold up my end of the agreement," Hotch said. "As long as you're ready."

"I am," Reid said boldly. "I never want to be that person again. I want to be someone I'm proud of."

"Good," Hotch and JJ shared a smile.

"What's going on over here?" Rossi asked the trio.

There was a beat of silence. "Today I revived my one year sobriety coin," Reid answered.

"Congratulations! This is a cause for celebration!" Rossi exclaimed.

"I can think of one more reason to celebrate," Hotch suggested. "As long as you don't mind me announcing it tonight."

"No I think tonight's perfect."

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Hotch asked loudly. "I have an announcement."

"Oh my god JJ!" Garcia squealed, while Morgan only shook his head.

"Pen, no." JJ corrected, while Morgan and Prentiss snorted back their laughter, quickly silenced by Hotch's glare.

"Sorry sir," Garcia apologized to Hotch's raised eyebrows. "I may have had a little bit to drink tonight and I get excited around the holidays-"

"It's fine Garcia," Hotch assured. "But I do have an exciting announcement regarding the team."

"We get the rest of the month off for Christmas!" Morgan guessed excitedly.

"No," Hotch said, but that went unheard by the rest of the crowd.

"Oh no fair!" Prentiss whined. "We never got more than three days off when I was on the team."

"Could everyone stop interrupting?" Hotch asked gruffly. "Now as you know we have been a man down for some time now...and I am pleased to announce that Doctor Spencer Reid will rejoin the unit as a profiler.

The announcement was met with a chorus of cheers and Reid was once again being pulled into various hugs. "Speech!"

Reid attempted to avoid speaking, but eventually he relented. "Um a little over a year ago I was in a pretty dark place. My mom had just died, and the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with died too. I felt really alone and I pushed my family away. You guys are my family, and I love getting to spend time with all of you like this. I know now how much you all care about me, and some of you were so key in showing me that I will never have to be alone in that dark place again. So I guess all I really have to say is thank you."

"And on that note dinner is severed," Rossi announced. Everyone made their way to the dining room where they continued to laugh and tell stories. Each and everyone of them felt happy and loved.


End file.
